Circus
by Dew007
Summary: Jack get's himself into a situation, Daniel fails to explain the customs. One-shot. Slight S/J and quit a bit of humor.


"Absolutely NOT Daniel!" Jack nearly yelled as he spun on his heels to face the younger man.

"It is kind of your fault though Jack..." Daniel countered shrugging his shoulders and giving a nod to the side in his _you know I'm right_ way.

"Why not T? He could do it! Look at him! He's one big...beautiful...BALD man!" Jack exclaimed clapping a hand on the Jaffa's shoulder in the process, he offered a smile to Teal'c who raised an eyebrow and slowly cast his gaze upon the hand resting on his shoulder then back to O'Neill. Jack raised his hand in apology and stepped away from his friend.

"I will not O'Neill. It was not my mistake that lead to this predicament." He bowed his head, hands clasped behind his back. Jack could swear he saw a smirk threatening the Jaffa's lips.

"I'm not doing it Daniel!" Jack said with an air of finality, crossing his arms over his P90.

"Sir with all due respect, you're going to be costing these people...a lot!" Carter finally spoke up from her spot just behind Daniel. She had spent the last 10 minutes trying not to laugh, constantly chewing her bottom lip and refusing to make eye contact with the Colonel. He narrowed his gaze at her.

"Oh you would love it wouldn't you?" He said pointedly but allowed a bit of humor in his tone.

"Jack you don't understand, they have a contract and you effectively cancelled that when you..."

"HEY! He shouldn't have done..." he motioned with his hands in Sam's direction in a fashion that would suggest the man had done something to her "THAT to Carter..." he huffed flinging his hand with the last of his words.

"I appreciate you 'protecting my honor' sir, but it _was_ just part of his act." Sam smiled her cheeks suddenly warm.

"Yes well...chivalry and yadda, yadda..." He turned back to Daniel, watching Sam for a moment from the corner of his eyes before giving the man his full attention.

"She's right Jack... He was just performing as their contract states. Besides it's only for tonight, it's their last show and he'll have time to recover from the broken nose you gave him." Jack winced at Daniel's tone and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes before running his hands up his head catching his cap as they scruffed through his hair.

"Fine!" he sighed defeatedly.

"GREAT! I'll go tell the ring leader they're a go!"

"Hey hey hey, but I am NOT wearing _THAT_!" He pointed at the speedo sitting on the dresser across from them.

"Do you not think they will fit O'Neill?" Teal'c queried one eyebrow creeping up his forehead.

"Oh I'm sure they'll fit but I would like to maintain SOME sense of dignity!" He exclaimed. He heard Sam snort behind him and the guffaw of his normally stoic Jaffa friend. Shooting them a pointed look, Sam ducked her chin once again drawing her lip between her teeth in an effort to keep from full on laughing.

Turns out the hairless man routine was less of a routine and more of an appraising, gawk session. Jack was far from hairless although their counterparts were covered in a pretty good coat of fur, could you call it fur? He shuddered at the idea. They relented allowing him to keep his boxer briefs instead of the speedo, aside from showing less thigh they still accentuated all the right areas and left little to the imagination. He groaned inwardly rubbing his face in frustration, he would kill Daniel when this was over.

Two hours later he shuffled back into the tent. His shorts decidedly heavier as unbeknownst to him if they _liked_ what they saw it was considered good will to leave a token. If the trail of coins from the stage and the way his privates now jingled with every step were any indication, they had liked what they saw. He grunted uncomfortably as he turned around in the tent to find one very surprised, albeit amused Major sitting on the stool one leg crossed over the other and her book haphazardly hanging from her fingers.

"Uh..." Jack felt the blush bloom over his cheeks and creep down his neck as his second seemed to have a lapse in good judgement and allowed her eyes to skim over his body. She was barely containing a bout of giggles when she noticed his hands clutched over his crotch in a guarded manner. Jack shifted and a coin fell out of the leg of his briefs and clattered to the floor below him. That was her undoing and she fell into a fit of laughter throwing her head back and covering her face with her arm now clutching the book to her stomach as she searched for some kind of composure.

"No giggling Major!" He barked at her which only seemed to fuel her fit. He shuffled over to the dresser where his clothes sat and released his hold on the undergarment allowing more coins to rain from his nether regions. He growled, glaring back at the amused blonde who was finally gathering herself up from the stool to leave and give him some time to stew. She smirked, tucking her book under her arm and heading for the exit.

As she walked by him she paused and grinned sheepishly, pulled a gold coin from her pocket and tucked it into his waistband. He was certain his eyes had popped out of his head as his jaw went slack and all he could do was stare back at her in disbelief.

"I guess I like what I see..." she shrugged nonchalantly and then ducked out of the tent leaving one very befuddled colonel in her wake.

The trek back to the gate was done mostly in silence. Daniel refusing to meet Jack's eyes after he had laid into him about not disclosing the fact that he was essentially agreeing to become a male stripper for the local traveling sideshow. Sam had a rather smug smile the entire time and even Teal'c seemed all too amused as they walked. Sam dialed the gate and sent their IDC.

Daniel and Teal'c disappeared into the event horizon before them and Jack paused on the steps.

"Damn it!" He growled before unceremoniously shoving a hand down the back of his pants producing a small gold coin. Sam grinned trying her damnedest not to laugh again. He narrowed his eyes at her giving a mock sneer before reaching forward and casually tucking the coin in the waistband of her bdus. She jumped and her jaw dropped as she stared at him incredulously. He leaned closer to her, letting his fingers linger on her hip a little longer than necessary.

"What? I like what I see too..." He smirked pulling away to take the last step towards the gate.

"Really? Maybe I should join the circus next time..." Sam was beaming at him as he made a sharp u-turn to face her, at the same time tripping himself through the gate. She winced, it was bound to be a rough landing on the other side.

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 **Don't ask, I won't tell. lol this is just one of those things that popped into my head at work and begged to be written. Oh lordy I blame The Greatest Showman for this, if you haven't seen it you must!**


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